I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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