I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize