I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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