my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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