I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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