theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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