I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
