on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
