I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
