I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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