I wish my penis had an off switch
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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