he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
