I didn't shave. On purpose
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
