marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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