I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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