I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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