dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
