Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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