Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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