He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
