omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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