It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
