It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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