you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
