i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
