It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
