my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
