wat bout pragnant strippers??
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
