Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
