If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
