It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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