Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
