Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
