Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
