Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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