You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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