he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
