yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
