I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize