So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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