North Korea, Best Korea!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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