I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
