I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
