winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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