i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
