I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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