you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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