I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
