I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
