I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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