Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
