maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize