If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
