i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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