It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
