I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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