Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
