I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
