DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
