I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
