Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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