I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
